Success v. Meaning

I was talking last week to a 2013 Rivers graduate who is doing a gap year before she attends an Ivy League college.  She spent two months in Tanzania, working in a clinic that delivers babies.  She actually delivered four babies herself.  Her experience was transforming.  She now realizes that she can make decisions about her life, that she does not have to follow a prescribed path that leads to “success.”  She may, indeed, end up being “successful” but not at the expense of finding meaning in her life.  We talked and rejoiced at her new-found discovery.
 

As I listened to her story and the epiphany she realized, I could not help but think about the purposes that different independent schools have.  Beyond those schools that have very specific missions like addressing learning issues, it seems to me that most schools fall into one of two categories.  There are those schools that will almost exclusively teach students how to attain success- success as it is traditionally defined- great job, lots of money, financial security.  This is their sole purpose- to teach students how to compete, how to win, how to work harder and smarter than the others.  For these schools, adolescence is a training ground, a sort of boot camp to prepare students for the inevitable struggle that lies before them.

There are a lot of New England prep schools and independent schools in major cities throughout the country that fall into this category.  They are littered with parents who see their child’s success as yet another emblem of their successful lives.  I’m not convinced that these schools chose this path, but saddled with a parent and alumni body that demand the markers of success, they have clearly drunk from the “excellence or else” kool-aid and cannot turn back.

 
There are other independent schools, like Rivers, that teach a different value.  It’s true that that they want their students to strive for excellence; it’s true that they celebrate the excellence that their students achieve.  But the pursuit of excellence at these schools has a different, broader purpose- to find meaning in life.  It’s not that success and meaning are viewed as necessarily antithetical in these schools.  Rather, it’s just that the pursuit of a meaningful life has equal footing with the pursuit of a “successful” life.  At these schools excellence is not just an end; it is a means for finding a meaningful life, a life well-lived, to use Aristotle’s words.

Prospective parents ask me frequently how is Rivers different from the other independent schools in the Boston area.  In many respects it is very similar- similar programs, similar kinds of students, etc.  But its purpose is very different from that of many other schools.  At Rivers the pursuit of excellence is designed to strengthen a student’s character, not have him or her compete for the most prestigious jobs.  At Rivers the pursuit of excellence is designed to help students find meaning in life, not just the “good life.”  To help students find meaning, Rivers’ teachers and coaches know and value each student- not just the student taking four AP classes but also the one who demonstrates real leadership skills or a creative approach to solving problems.  The unique attributes of each of our students, we believe, are critical to their finding meaning in life, not just success.