Adolescence Matters

I often hear prospective parents talk about trying to help their son or daughter find “the right fit” in an independent school. The conversation goes something like this:
 
“Well, I have a daughter who knows exactly what she wants, and she just needs a school that will offer her the programs that will get her where she wants to be. She has all the academic skills and is a great student; it’s just a matter of putting her in an environment of like-minded students who are on the same track. It’s about finding the right fit.” 
 

I nod my head and say, “That’s great,” but I am thinking, “This parent does not have a clue about adolescents or life.  The statement may be a prescription for success, but it is not a prescription for a happy, meaningful life.”

 
So the traditional prep school model is to serve those parents who have children that have already figured life out and are ready to enter the Darwinian competition for success, money, and prestige? Instead of adolescence being a stage in life to explore, to fail, and especially to be loved in the process, at a time when they are most vulnerable, it is, rather, the first step in a prescripted life. It’s as if the kid is saying, “I already figured out my life; let’s begin the race. I’ll start by being with all the other kids who have figured out their lives and are ready to race.”
 

I don’t buy it. Either the kid is going to skip over a very important life process that can play a huge role in her finding meaning in life, or she will become isolated in a cocoon of arrogance, never appreciating the talents (measured and not so easily measured) of others who do not so easily fit the “mold.”

 

Adolescence matters… for every kid! It should not be subverted.